Behaviour – improving it

Children respond better to a consistent approach.

Changing behaviour does take some time so remember it takes more than a week to change habits and routines. Children may have become used to behaving in one sort of way to react to certain circumstances. Allow enough time for change to happen and if something doesn’t work the first time it doesn’t mean to say it will never work. This may mean the child is too young for your approach or needs longer in order for it to work. Be aware that any attention is good attention for a child even if they have to be naughty to gain it. Are you praising your child when you see good actions? Point out what they are doing well; any improvements should be specific and praised (e.g. "Well done for hanging your coat up when you came home").
 

Ideas to help

 
• Use the traffic light system to think about your child's red, amber and green behaviour. 
 
• Make sure you praise your child when they do something right - who would you rather work for, a boss
  who always criticises, or one who notices your good points?
 
• Give praise that lets your child know exactly what they have done well, and how it makes you feel.
 
• Set clear, fair rules, but give your child choices and freedom within these limits. 
 
• Be consistent, and if you have a partner, work together as a team. 
 
• If your child breaks a rule when they should know better, give a clear reprimand.  They may need to
  have an instant consequence.
 
• If your child is irritable, ask yourself if they are bored/ hungry/ tired etc. Make sure there is something
  more interesting available for them to do.
 
• Try to make sure that you give your child more of your attention when they are behaving well, than
  when they are misbehaving.
 
• You don't need to change a child's feelings, but instead try listening, empathising, and naming the
  feeling.
 
• All feelings can be accepted; it is the actions that need to be tackled, for example, 'It's okay to feel
  angry. It's not okay to kick the door’.
 
• Comment on your child's behaviour, but don't attack their character. Think about how what you say will
  affect their self-esteem. Give them an opportunity to make amends.
 
• Look after yourself.  A good parent is a happy and confident parent. 
 
• Involve your child in the decision-making process, providing them with explanations. 
 
• Children need good role models to help them develop. 
 
• Children need to have their feelings accepted and respected. 
 
• Listen quietly and attentively - don't always ask questions OR DENY FEELINGS. 
 
• Acknowledge feelings with a word - 'Mmm...Oh...I see...' 
 
• You can give feelings a name - 'That sounds frustrating'.