Behaviour – social communication

Why do we choose one person over another to talk to in a crowd? What is it that makes you avoid someone, and not even give him or her a chance to show you what they are really like?

Social skills require you to be able to do the following:

• Understand when someone is teasing you, and how to respond.
 
• Share ideas and activities with someone else.
 
• Compromise when you don’t get your way and not show your anger. 
 
• Say ‘no’  when you feel uncomfortable about something you are asked to do. You need to have an
  idea of what is right and wrong. 
 
• Be able to have and give your viewpoint, and accept that other people have a different one from
  yours. 
 
• Say something nice to somebody else. 
 
• Be able to accept a compliment from someone else. 
 
• Ask for help when you don’t understand and be able to say why you don’t understand it. 
 
• Say ‘thank you’ – requires eye contact and the right tone in your voice. 
 
• Keep a secret.
 

Why do some children get it wrong?

• The child may be sensitive, more mature than his/her peer group or very gifted in one area.  
 
• S/he may stand out from others and will be seen as different by others.  
 
• His/her responses in a social situation may not conform with their peer group, or to the adults s/he is
  addressing. 
 
• S/he may not be able to change their style to adapt to different situations. For example, children talk
  differently to their friends than when they address their parents and other adults. A child with living and
  learning difficulties may not distinguish between the two and be over-familiar with an adult and not
  understand why he/she is being told off. The intent was not to be cheeky.
 
• Appearance, for example a mismatch of clothing which is not in line with others.
 
• Personality - shy or over outgoing. S/he may feel unable to interact with others and respond quickly in
  a group setting. S/he may react too quickly in a situation and go overboard, being over-enthusiastic.
 
• Acting as a know-all when information has been gained and telling everyone else about it. 
 
• Passing on secrets that have been told in confidence – not understanding what is being asked of
  them. 
 
• Getting into a fight and not being able to get out of the situation easily. 
 
• Being persistent with a wish or demand after others have moved on in the conversation. 
 
• Constant interruptions when others are talking. 
 
• Becoming angry and upset when failing.  
 
• Becoming overly excited when winning. 
 
• Talking too much – going on and on and on. 
 
• Not being willing to share with others. 
 
• Being too direct and blunt – pointing out something about someone’s appearance for example. 
 
• Not knowing how to start or stop a conversation or leave a group.