Sibling rivalry
Rivalry
Sharing attention between
different children in a family can be difficult. Who is
getting
the most or least attention at
any one time may be a bone of contention. From the
moment a baby comes, the
behaviour of the older siblings often changes - not
always
for the best.
In families where there is an
individual who requires more attention for any reason
and
where more attention may
be essential, other siblings may have mixed
feelings.
They may have been told why their
brother or sister requires the attention, and they can
understand the reasons
for it, but it still doesn't give them the time with
their parents that
they really
require. ‘Understanding versus feelings’ is always
difficult to balance. They can
cope with it some of the time,
but the fight for attention for themselves is sometimes just too
great.
Many siblings feel protective of
their brother or sister who has difficulties but can still want to
have personal time with their parents. They may sometimes
even wish they were the ones with the problem to gain the
attention. From the parents’ perspective, they are trying to
balance love and attention for one sibling with love and attention
for another. The difficulty comes when one sibling requires,
out of necessity, more attention. How can you ensure fairness to
all?